Supposed to be

I am supposed to be the mama
thankyou mama
good job mama
its decided mama
I love you mama
in the kitchen mama

its santa's workshop mama
you had a good day at school mama
where's bertie mama
you like you pancakes mama

you so happy mama
did you have a good nights sleep mama
supposed to be proud happy sad good waiting why are you mad mama

want to see the dolphins mama
I am supposed to be decided happy sad container mama

I love you mama

Why Should I

Jude stands in front of the computer watching the colors swirl and morph on the visualizer. He is waiting for the song to come on. I am not a huge fan of Sting but apparently Jude is. He is still learning the words and he is woefully off key. It is beautiful.

Under the Arctic Fire
Over the seas of silence
for all my days remaining

would north be true

Why should I cry for you


My son sings of being lost in an endless world with no landmarks or bearings, where north is perhaps not true. I am not sure how much of the song he understands but I sense it is significant that he is so taken with it.

What would it mean to say
I loved you in my fashion

We have been on this journey, he and I, lost in vast seas with no compass. Sometimes the stars aren't there to show you which way to go, and you just have to keep moving. I know he loves me,
loves me in his fashion. I watch him sing his heart out with his eyes closed, and I know on some level he is touched by the words.

What would be true
why should I cry for you
why would you want me to?

I pull him onto my lap, and he is still humming the song, and I tell him some things really are true, and some things are constant, like my heart, like mercy and love that never ends, and those things are as vast and boundless as any ocean.

Why should I cry for you?
Why indeed.