Child of Stone

I love Discovery Health Channel. I diagnose them as they walk in the door. The attendings on Diagnosis X are still scratching their heads and I've got it. "It's Thallasemia you numbskull!" "Look at the posturing! It's tetanus! jeez!"

It freaks my husband out that I am usually right. "Hey,"" I tell him, my mouth full of popcorn. I didn't get a GED for nothin'."

After my show another program came on. It told the story of a woman who had a mass removed, and the doctors discovered that is was a baby who had died inside of her, and after many, many years the child had turned to stone.

The doctors explained how there was a layer of calcium all over the baby and that underneath was a whole child, perfectly preserved.

The woman, an old lady from Morocco, said she knew he was in there, she just thought he was sleeping, and that was fine with her.


That night I dreamed I had a stone baby, but I was not content to let him sleep. I worked on this outer layer for days, years, months, and chipped and sanded and peeled away the hard layer until one day, it cracked open, and inside was a beautiful, pink baby.




All of a sudden Jude wants me to read to him. It hurt me that I could not share words and stories with him, they meant so much to me.I would try and try and he would cover his ears, overwhelmed by the words and yell, Noooo!

The other day he asked me to read Goodnight Moon to him. I read it, blinking back tears. That night he and I lay on our backs in the yard and watched the moon. He told the moon goodnight and wanted me to, as well. When we went in he wanted "Story Time." I read him several books and he loved it, pointing things out to me, sharing the joy of it with me.

I have been told that if Jude continues like this it may be hard to tell he is autistic in a few years. Things I thought were lost, they weren't lost, just sleeping. Waiting to be awakened, to come alive. No more child of stone, staring off into the distance and screaming when forced to join the rest of us. Flesh and blood, and I knew he was there, all along.