Friday, February 20, 2004

Cake

I can never quite figure out if it is okay to be angry or not.
I am blessed, no question. Three gorgeous kids, a safe place to live, a kind husband, and we never want for anything.

But sometimes it is hard, really hard. Sometimes I observe other families going through life, enjoying their kids. It never occurs to them that they are fortunate that their kids are not in pain. That their kids can learn without a struggle. That they have time for everything.

They never wake up and wonder, is this the day? Is this the day my breathtaking, magical child falls down and is never quite the same?
I have to remind myself that God is good. Sometimes in the face of contradictory evidence.

Baker Baker
Baking a cake
Make me a day
Make me whole again
And I wonder
What's in a day
What's in your cake this time?

Self pity is just that, a pit, a quagmire. I stick a toe in to test the water and I am lost, pulled under by the muck. I have to keep moving. Keep focused on what is beautiful, so I don't miss it. I just don't want to miss it.

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