We went to the pool yesterday. The YMCA, in fact. They have a swim night for families with disabled kids, which includes us, and so we went. The whole way there we listened to Jude yelling wanna go to the pool? Can we go to the pool? Can we swim with dolphins?
When we said there were no dolphins he screamed. Okay, fine, dolphins. We get there and it is so, so fun. All three boys are having a blast and we know like half the families in the pool from Jude's school, and we are having family time, all together. Priceless.
Then it is time to go home. Jude has to be drug out of the pool screaming. Screaming, Screaming, Screaming. All through getting dressed, all the way home. Goes to bed screaming. Fun time is over. He just can't deal.
He woke up this morning, and asked for the pool. No pool, Jude.
Screaming. Throwing stuff. I have to sit near him and wait while he sorts it out. Talk to him. I know you're angry. I know, you wanted the pool. It's okay. You will be okay. You can calm down, Jude. You are angry, and sad, but you can calm yourself down.
This is the sort of thing that makes me want to hide with Jude, never come out. The image of Boo
Radley, hidden in the basement, haunts me. I feel like a failure. I feel sorry for my other two sons. We can never do anything as a family, I think. Why bother.
You know what? Next time we go to the pool there will be less screaming. And less the next time,
too. And we will go. Because I am brave, and I am strong, and my son will not be hidden away,
and he will learn, and he will grow, and we are a family, and God walks with us, through the valley of the shadow of death, and to the YMCA, and the grocery store, and the park. Jude is going to figure this out, and if his learning process is a little loud, well, the world will just have to adjust to him. Just a little. Get out your earplugs people, here we come.
When we said there were no dolphins he screamed. Okay, fine, dolphins. We get there and it is so, so fun. All three boys are having a blast and we know like half the families in the pool from Jude's school, and we are having family time, all together. Priceless.
Then it is time to go home. Jude has to be drug out of the pool screaming. Screaming, Screaming, Screaming. All through getting dressed, all the way home. Goes to bed screaming. Fun time is over. He just can't deal.
He woke up this morning, and asked for the pool. No pool, Jude.
Screaming. Throwing stuff. I have to sit near him and wait while he sorts it out. Talk to him. I know you're angry. I know, you wanted the pool. It's okay. You will be okay. You can calm down, Jude. You are angry, and sad, but you can calm yourself down.
This is the sort of thing that makes me want to hide with Jude, never come out. The image of Boo
Radley, hidden in the basement, haunts me. I feel like a failure. I feel sorry for my other two sons. We can never do anything as a family, I think. Why bother.
You know what? Next time we go to the pool there will be less screaming. And less the next time,
too. And we will go. Because I am brave, and I am strong, and my son will not be hidden away,
and he will learn, and he will grow, and we are a family, and God walks with us, through the valley of the shadow of death, and to the YMCA, and the grocery store, and the park. Jude is going to figure this out, and if his learning process is a little loud, well, the world will just have to adjust to him. Just a little. Get out your earplugs people, here we come.
7 comments:
you are one of the most caring and bravest mothers I have ever met. You know your son like no other mother probably ever will...and for this you should be proud. You are Jude's guardian angel, you will never let him down because you are too strong. It's because of you and Don that Jude has come as far as he has...and for him (like I've told you before) the sky is the limit! Jude is just "INCREDIBLE!!!"
I Love your attitude. If Jude has trouble adjusting to the world then the world will just have to adjust to him. You are obviously the best mom ever. Don't ever forget that even if the whole world is against you and you have God, you will always win!!!!! He's got a plan for you guys. Just keep looking to Him and He will lead you and guide you and love you and bring you through whatever He has allowed to happen in your lives. You rock girl!!!You just keep on keepin' on!!!!
Bravo! I trust that it will get easier every time you try. God knows what you need.
I love the Signs and Wonders post. What a great quote.
I also love that you took your son to the pool and that you'll take him back again. That's hope (and love) in action for sure.
We have an autistic kid in our church right now. I really enjoy getting to know how his brain works. What he remembers and what he enjoys. It makes me think differently--and I appreciate that.
You are my hero!! You have the most beautiful boys in the world and you and Don are beautilful too!! Verlina
My name is Chris and I found your blog at Cornerstone.com thingie.
I have a child w/Asperger's. He's 9 1/2 yo.
You have a very tough job but I can see by these posts that you have a lot of support. If you ever need another shoulder to cry on, please feel free.
Hey, you need to write some more, neighbor!
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